Sunday, May 15, 2011

Intros and crap

I've been informed that I need to "get some of my rage out," so I'll be writing here regularly.

So yeah, livers are great. You know when you really start appreciating them? WHEN YOU FIND OUT THAT DUE TO THE WEIRD-ASS GENETIC CONDITION YOU WERE F*CKING BORN WITH (and attending Iowa State. Ahem.) THAT YOU NEED A NEW ONE.

Yep. The Gaga* was 'Born This Way,' and apparently so was I.

So, upon my diagnosis, I had to give up my apartment and move back in with my parents (who were not nearly as confident as I was about my ability to climb stairs without help). Not such a huge deal- the house is big, and I already work for Ma... so it's just a few more hours of togetherness daily. And she's lovely.

So, yeah. Waiting for an organ transplant. OBVIOUSLY the men under 45 in our part of Iowa consider me to be quite a catch. I mean, you'd think- I have all my teeth, no kids, never married, never tried to get through Valentine's Day at the flower shop by whipping up a quick batch of meth...

But alas, they hear that you have to have a major organ replaced- not one of those stupid organs like a f*cking spleen- and I guess that they think I'm not a good risk to bear The Fruit Of Their Loins.

Or I've finally made the leap from Dreadfully Picky (swear to God, I once started yelling at a guy for liking the "wrong" Zeppelin album) to wanting Someone To Fetch For Me the Puny Amount of Painkillers I'm F*cking Allowed.

So, to sum up- I'll be writing about my medical adventures, my ill-advised decisions also, about my family and friends- all well-meaning. This does not, however, mean that they do not DRIVE ME BATSHIT crazy occasionally.

Sorry for the self-indulgence. My life- it's always been interesting, but now it's Interesting.

*I have much love for the Gaga and will hear nothing bad about her crazy self. My musical taste is all over the map. Just warning you.

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